The Melody Changes

You're walkin' along the street, or you're at a party,
Or else you're alone and then you suddenly dig,
You're lookin' in someone's eyes, you suddenly realize
That this could be the start of something big.

The Concretes - Chosen One

"Have you seen my chosen one, recently..
If you do, tell her I'm in for love."

Blood

Bloody art, art bloody.
Chilli hothot, you and me.
One time hardhard, one cut deepdeep.
Until then, dearest Midori.

PS: Oh fav girl, where art thou?

"This wicked city just drags you down.
You're with the red lights, your side of town."

UNDEFEATED.

2 times the attempt, 2 times the disappointment.

When it was the first time, ok well you think to yourself, 'maybe I wasn't good enough?' Then when the second time comes, what are you going to think now? The same reason? It sucks, seriously. I still bothered to go through the boxes that they ticked the first time. But now, the only thing that registered in my head was the fact the total amount of points obtained were greater than eight-fuckin-teen. So what reasons can I possibly give to make myself feel any better?

I tried to be as careful as I can, but perhaps to them I haven't tried hard enough. I think that I've done better now, but they think otherwise. I really want to be optimistic about this but I simply don't know how to. I told myself to accept the fact that you know, perhaps God thinks that I'm not ready, as such he didn't let me through, that is to prevent any mistake that would lead to an accident. Well yeah, try telling yourself that and see if it helps.

It's not so much about the results and all, well I mean of course it matters but the actual and bigger disappointment comes from the fact that for this past one month, the amount of preperation, the practise sessions, the fact that the people around you and even yourself have been you know, psyching yourself for this day. The things you've planned to do after you've passed, everything good! But now, all cannot and will not happen because I've failed.

Maybe I should just accept that I'm better with steering wheels instead of handle bars? Maybe I shift gears better by using hands as compared to kicking it up or down? Or maybe I can manage 4 wheels but not 2 wheels? This whole questioning-yourself phase, they're terrible, if there are so many maybes, maybe I really just cannot make it. Maybe maybe maybe, maybe memories. Sigh.

I know I'll look at this post tomorrow or even a week later thinking to myself, 'Oh man... This is so depressing bla bla bla, self-pity, etc.' Oh well, I guess I just want to sympathise with myself right now. I don't know, it's really really sad yeah..

I'm sorry Midori, you and I can't be official yet.

"This is the scent of dead skin on a linoleum floor.."

xoxo

Today, while the priest was blessing all the mothers, grandmothers and great grandmothers, he said, "A boy's best friend is his mother."

It may be true to a lot of boys out there, it may not. But it is definitely true for merv boy. Here's to the mothership and all the mothers out there...

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

"Directly to my helmet, indirectly to my skull."

Closer

This new song by Travis is like on repeat mode in my head. Now I'm just waiting for the torrent to finish heh, good shit yo!

"..Closer closer, lean on me now, lean on me now."

Grace Kelly

Mika's Life In Cartoon Motion is quite good, thumbs up!
I wonder if my appeal got through, I don't want to part with my 100bucks ya. :(
Oh dear oh dear, could it be? Hmm.. We'll see.

"I could be brown, I could be blue,
I could be violet like sky.
I could be hurtful, I could be purple,
I could be anything you like."

Happy Bday to you

Celebrated mirdat's bday over at terence's place, I could see that he really really enjoyed himself. Getting super high and pissed drunk haha, it's been so damn long since he had so much fun. Welcome back bro, here is the future! Haha 16.5 inches yo!

"One night and one more time; Thanks for the memories.."